|
| +and you've got a brand new key <3  
[1]
I have sat on park benches and trains and school room chairs, feeling the great store of unused, objectless love sitting in my belly like a stone until I was sure I would cry out and fall, flailing to the ground. [2]
I was anti-everything and everyone. I didn't want people around me. This aversion was not some big crippling anxiety; merely a mature recognition of my own psychological vulnerability and my lack of suitability as a companion. Thoughts jostled for space in my crowded brain as I struggled to give them some order which might serve to motivate my listless life. [3]
Most people talk when they have nothing to say. I'm not talking because I have too much to say. None of which I'd want you to hear.  
[4]
I thought I'd let you know that these things take forever,
I especially am slow, but I realized that I need you [5]
I've got a slot at eye level like a speak easy door and I know you know the password cause I've seen you here before. And I've got something sweet for you and I don't care if it is more than you deserve; I've got a lot of love and a lot of nerve. So watch me while I take this curve. [6]
It's like a cigarette in the mouth or a handshake in the doorway, I look at you and smile because I'm fine.  
[7]
You know I'll call you eventually, when I wanna talk
Till then you're invisible [8]
Please don't let this turn into something it's not. I can only give you everything I've got. I can't be as sorry as you think I should. But I still love you more than anyone could. [9]
I tried to tell myself that the reason I was crying had nothing to do with the fact that even when I wasn't trying, all I did was let people down. 
You've got a hold on me. <3 | | |
| +You would not believe how much snow we got overnight -and how miserably unprepared the city was. WTF. 
[1]
“people are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t’ deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly.” [2]
“Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.” [3]
I know you're sad because it's winter. But I can promise you a spring. I know you're cold, I see you shiver. But I can promise you a spring. 
[4]
This is the start of something good, don't you agree?
I haven't felt like this in so many moons, you know what I mean? [5]
How could I know that everything you said were lies
about devotion and desire?
And I know the spark inside your eye
was just the match I used to set myself on fire. [6]
I know you can't stand my wandering hands, but how can I apologize, comply with my demands? They're written on these pages, it's written on our faces. I know you don't want this, but know that I need this more than I did before. It's easy to see that it's hard to ignore your subtle hands, I'm catching wind how insincere are your finger prints. 
[7]
No one has to hear, the sound of people laughing at their fear, and the ocean and sun are always there, to make you happy if you're feeling scared of the darkness. [8]
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask,
I want to exorcise the demons from your past,
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart [9]
And remember what it felt like to be alone
Sitting in the sunlight all alone 
I am stronger than depression and I am braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me. <3 | | |
| +Theoretically, if I lose a pound a week, I'll reach 110lbs by Feb. 8th. That is such a long time from now...  
[1]
All the books you started reading, all the boys you started seeing, every half completed sentiment that you always meant to say, get stuck inside a memory, like a miracle unfinished and you only feel like going back to where there's no place to stay. [2]
I'd rather do half as much with twice as much passion,
say half as much with twice as much meaning. [3]
And at night, I roam these streets with absolutely no purpose, feeling like I'm worthless. But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine. Content with the fact that I know this city's mine.  
[4]
I braved treacherous streets
And kids strung out on homemade speed
and we shared a bed in which I could not sleep at all [5]
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution to give me the needed professional help to protect me from the enemy. [6]
“But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.”  
[7]
“Everyone seems to have a clear idea how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” [8]
“it’s what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their personal legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their personal legend.” [9]
“the boy tried to listen to his heart. It was not easy to do; in earlier times, his heart had always been ready to tell its story, but lately that wasn’t true. There had been times when his heart spent hours telling of its sadness, and at other times it became so emotional over the desert sunrise that the boy has to hide his tears. His heart beat faster when it spoke to the boy of treasure, and more slowly when the boy stared entranced at the endless horizons of the desert. But his heart was never quiet.” 
I am too weak to be your cure. <3 | | |
| +Dear god, I adore Woody Guthrie so much.  
[1]
Look at all the skin stretched over your bones. You can see, so look. All that you thought for sure was just a figure of speech, an attempt to put off time, an attempt to stop the moment. [2]
Take this kiss with slow embrace to the darkest place. Just you and I through these walls to the other side; Where our souls collide, never to die. [3]
"We can lay here all day if you want, I really wouldn't mind. There's no need to go out into the cold, you and me, we could be under blankets and just watch the day go by. Maybe go back to sleep, and dream of better days, or maybe just sit here silently and pretend everything's okay."  
[4]
I've got dreams and aspirations.
And I'm pretty good at conversations
I've got a heart I want to give.
But I need someone to share it with. [5]
And nobody knows that I still
fall asleep thinking about you. [6]
Do whatever you want.
And if it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late.  
[7]
"Why does everyone make it so difficult, or better yet, why do you make it so easy?
It's so easy to be with you, so easy to talk to you,
and so easy to love you.
With you it's always been effortless,
and I find myself having to convince myself I have feelings for other guys,
but I simply don't.
I guess that's why they call it "falling in love",
you can't force yourself to fall, you just do." [8]
and if i didn't know the difference,
being alone would probably be okay [9]
I had a beautiful, beautiful time. The drives and the talks were amazing, the kind of friend I thought I'd never find. I had a beautiful, beautiful time. You have a beautiful, beautiful smile, the way it cuts and collapses on your lips and when you touch me, I shake like a child. It's late, I'm afraid you might leave because sometimes it seems like you still don't believe me.  
[10]
Left the big city, think it was yesterday. Got in some trouble there but that's the price you pay for living underground, just stay put and believe in the good times you can have right down the street. You go to the show cause you know that your friends are there watching your face for any trace or hint of fear. [11]
And all the feelings that I thought were gone came rushing back to me all at once. I tried to smile and hide how I felt but then I realized...I'm not gonna get over this one [12]
It's late at night and no one's around and only my heart is making a sound. I lay awake alone in my bed and I can't sleep, should I call you instead? I think of you far too much 'cause you, you're one of a kind. 
“It’s not what enters men’s mouths that’s evil, it’s what comes out of their mouths that is.” <3
| | |
| +Did anyone else watch V for Vendetta on November 5th?  
[1]
I like songs about drifters, books about the same.
They've always seemed to make me feel a little less insane. [2]
I have always found the times when another person recognizes you to be strangely sad; I suspect the pathos of these moments is their rareness, the way they contrast with most daily encounters. That reminder that it can be different, that you need not go through life unknown but that you probably still will - that is the part that's almost unbearable. [3]
Every time I think everything is going really well, I mean, I try really hard - it all fucks up. And I think that maybe I'm just one of those people that doesn't deserve to be happy. 
[4]
If time could stop, how could I make this more poetic
when there's nothing more pathetic to be said. [5]
You don't recover from a night like this. A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless. A hand moves in the dark to a zipper, hear a boy bracing tight against sheets barely whispers, "this is so messed up."' [6]
You just can't relax and you can't rely on anyone for anything. So make your complaints and all everyone's let you down. You just can't ever win. Convinced there's a war on, it's always everybody versus you. Convinced that your critics are watching and you've always got something, you've always got something to prove. 
[7]
I wanted to be one of those people who have streaks to maintain, who scorch the ground with their intensity. But for now, at least I knew such people and they needed me, just like comets need tails. [8]
I should tell you now it's all I've got.
And please stick around, I'll make you fall in love with me. [9]
"I don't need a fucking god to make me think that I am right, because we are all so wrong. Who the fuck wants to live forever, anyways? Yeah, sure we all worship something, but making others feel wrong to feel right is shitty. We are violent creatures and not half as smart as we say we are. Making weapons all the time to kill each other off. Like bacteria in a petri dish; we all live and die." 
“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” <3 | | |
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